Of Sirius and Socks
by Lunaris Dracon -Moon Dragon
Summary: What happens when Sirius encounters the biggest threat of his life?


It was an average day at Hogwart's School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was the Christmas holidays and only the Marauders and Lily were left behind. Everyone else had gone home for the holidays. On this particular day, one could find James, Remus, and Sirius lounging around in the Gryffindor Common Room. Sirius sat on the floor in his animagus form, a great shaggy black dog. He was happily chewing on a manky sock. James and Remus sat comfortably on big, squishy armchairs watching their friend with amusement.

"You know, Padfoot," said James, with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, "socks have feelings too, and if you keep mutilating one of their kind, they won't be very happy with you."

"Yeah," said Remus, "They may even decide to get revenge."

The dog rolled his eyes, and continued chewing said sock, completely disregarding his friends' previous statements.

James and Remus exchanged roguish looks.

"We warned you, Padfoot." Said Remus.

Padfoot transformed back into his human self, the sock still hanging from his mouth.

"Yeah right, you guys," said he, and with that he turned back into a dog and carried on with his task of sock disfiguring.

"Okay," said James, "You asked for it."

James pulled out his wand (a/n: not that wand you sick perverts…keep it rated k) and silently summoned all the socks in the castle, while Remus, his wand out also, silently performed an animation charm on them.

Soon Padfoot was surrounded by hundreds upon thousands of socks. One sock in particular was green and had a tiny star pinned to it. It was obviously the general. Padfoot dropped the sock he had been salivating on and growled menacingly at the army of socks.

"CHARGE!!!" yelled the sock in command, and all of the socks swarmed forth overwhelming the poor dog.

Padfoot put up a valiant effort at keeping the socks at bay, but there were too many of them. Soon you could hear the dog's whimpering of pain as the socks tried to strangle him. Eventually he was forced back into his human form, as he was no match for the vicious sock army.

"HELP ME, MOONY, PRONGS!!!" he yelled in anguish. "I CAN'T FIGHT THEM OFF!!! THEY'RE TOO MUCH FOR THE GREAT PADFOOT!!!"

Remus and James were casually sitting off to the side, watching the scuffle.

"Even when being assaulted by socks, he is still as arrogant as ever." Remus said mildly.

"Do you think we should help him?" asked James, tears of mirth rolling down his handsome face.

"No," said Remus, "the spell dissipates in fifteen minutes anyway. Let us go eat while Padfoot learns his lesson."

"I COULD BE DEAD IN FIFTEEN MINUTES GUYS!!!" Sirius shouted.

"That's not our problem," said James as they left the common room.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! SAAAAAAAVVVVVEEEE MEEEEEE!!!"

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER 

A highly disheveled Sirius Black entered the Great Hall.

Lily looked up from her plate, "What happened to you, Black?" Her eyebrows arched gracefully.

Sirius glared at his best friends, who were snorting into their treacle tart.

"You guys suck."

_Authors' Notes:_

_Lunaris: We do not own Harry Potter, only the plot._

_Dracon: Yeah, Um we don't own socks either_

_Lunaris: We got the idea after a McDonald craving (which we do not own that either)_

_Dracon: We no, no it was your McDonald craving_

_Lunaris: Well you came with me_

_Dracon: Cause you did not want to go by yourself I was being a good roomie_

_Lunaris: Since when are you a good roomie?_

_Dracon: Since you shared your Reese's with me (which we do not own…yet)_

_Lunaris: Ah yes those are good peanut butter cups_

_Dracon: Should we explain to our readers our situation?_

_Lunaris: What situation?_

_Dracon: Oh, I do not know the one where we co-elaborate stories_

_Lunaris: Co-elaborate is that even a word_

_Dracon: It is now_

_Lunaris: No we will tell them later_

_Dracon: okay_

_Lunaris: Oh, yeah one more thing we welcome flames_

_Dracon: Love them actually _

_Lunaris: The moral of this story?_

_Dracon: Be nice to socks or they'll strangle you._

_Lunaris: They have feelings, too, you know._

_Dracon: You're so stupid._

_Lunaris: Am not. (Sticks tongue out.)_

_Dracon: Are too. (Curses in Gaelic.)_

_Argument continues for quite some time._

_Lunaris: Truce?_

_Dracon: Truce._


End file.
